Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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