I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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