physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
