it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
