On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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