I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
