I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
