that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize