I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
