Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
