their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
