I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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