'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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