I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Come share oat with me in your robe
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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