Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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