Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
