'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
