i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
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