i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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