Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i've created a new STD.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
