More tranny stories later!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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