I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
