I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
