you guys were way drunker than both of me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
