On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
