Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
