what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize