We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
