the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
