Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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