In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
