And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
