i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
