you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
