Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
