Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
