Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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