She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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