Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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