i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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