i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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