Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
