I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
