Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
