You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
