My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
