Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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