the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
