They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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