We won't sleep together?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
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If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
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