I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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