i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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