I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
