your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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