So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'm at about main and main street
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize