New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
