I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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