I wish I could teleport
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im about as happy as oj after his trial
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
