Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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