I murdered the dance floor call the cops
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
